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  • Jill Hinckley

Dating over 40: 5 Reasons It's A Complete Gift

Updated: Jan 29, 2019



Many of our clients come back into the dating and relationships world with one common complaint: dating over 40 is intimidating! You may worry that people in the same age bracket are already in relationships, or that somehow you’re not “as good” or “as ready” as you once were.

Luckily we have good news: according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 50% of the population over 40 is single with 49% female and 51% male. Not only that, our experience shows that in fact, those 40 and above are BETTER suited to date than some of their younger counterparts.

You read that right! Here’s why:

1. You know yourself

You’ve had over 40 years living in this world. 40 years of experiences, lessons, and opportunities to grow. Of course, your evolution is far from over, but at this point, you know yourself pretty well.

That deep knowing cannot be earned in any other way than through experience. You no longer need to second guess how you speak, the way you carry yourself or what you love. Experience breeds confidence - and confidence is SO attractive.

If we may, let’s make an analogy to the business world: 93% of executives report that the way a person dresses at the office affects their prospects for a promotion. A sharp suit or beautiful dress is great to look at, but what’s really at work here is the way the person is carrying themselves. They are showing confidence which is translating into making them seem like someone of value - worth supporting and getting to know.

Same deal for the 40+ dater. You wear your comfort in your own skin like a beautiful outfit, making you instantly attractive to your date.

2. The sex rocks

Before we all start blushing, let’s face it! Fellow dating coach Isabel James puts it well: “you stop trying to fit in a cookie cutter mold,” says James. “You know and accept yourself in your 40s and are comfortable with your style, without mimicking what the media tells us we should look like.” Again to our point about confidence - it translates in the bedroom as well.

3. You are more financially stable

Money isn’t everything. That said, it is a means of exchange that helps us build the lives we want to have. Believe us when we say, we’re huge fans of takeout and Netflix but sometimes really going all out can be a wonderful way to say “hey, I appreciate you”. Whether it’s springing for the better concert tickets or just sitting down to a beautiful dinner, money enables us to make those kinds of gestures - if it’s something we want to do.

Everybody’s financial situation is different and we would be oversimplifying things to say that once you’re over 40 you’re automatically financially stable. That said, most of us have worked longer, and achieved more at work - and therefore usually have more of a financial foothold. Embrace it!

4.There are fewer games

Again, everybody’s situation is different and we don’t want to oversimplify. There are people at every age looking for a casual companion or just a physical connection. However, in general, it is true that folks over 40 are likely to be looking for a real love connection rather than a one-off fling. That isn’t always the case for people in their 20s and 30s who may be simply seeking out new experiences rather than a true partner.

When both parties can be on the same page with what they are looking for, it creates an even playing field and more positive results. Be honest with your dates up front so you know you’re both looking for the same thing!

5. You’ve done this before!

If you’re newly single or you’re really just starting to go fully into the dating world, you’ve gone on at least a few dates. Better yet, you’ve probably been in a few relationships! That experience has prepared you to understand what works well for you and what doesn’t. Just like riding a bike, having some experience will give you the boost you need to thrive in your dating life.

Do you agree? What do you love about getting back into the dating game? Let us know!